it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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