ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize