I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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