like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
