I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize