Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
