He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
