Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize