The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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