he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
