whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
