she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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