in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
