Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
