somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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