well you can't waste a boner
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
