he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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