I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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