dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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