You're my little dorito
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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