The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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