Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize