I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
