Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
this is an emotional support booty call
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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