i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
