Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
