can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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