I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
