Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
