Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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