coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
