her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
