My room smells like vodka and shame
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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