i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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