on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
tell me about the eggs
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