My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
birth control should be required to get into college
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
