The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
