5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
