Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
