She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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