butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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