If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
