Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize