She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
