Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
