I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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