I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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