it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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