What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
