He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
