sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
