She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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