my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
