and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize