No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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