i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
