mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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