the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
