the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
