Me. At least after what I've been through.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish you could order shots online.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
