"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
He better not be in your backpack
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
