I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
