He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
