what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
