if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
